For the Elves!! (Harry Potter flavour)
by Smoky
Summary: ...cos elves rule! A bunch of elves out of different stories meet. feat. Legolas (LoTR), Jaheira (BG) and Dobby!! i jes did this for fun, but plz r+r ...
1. Part One

NB: There is a BG flavour of this story. If you're more into BG, go read that version instead!!  
  
CLAIMER/DISCLAIMER: Casy is mine (leading char. from BG). Jaheira belongs to the brains behind BG, Legolas to JRR Tolkien/LoTR, and everything else to JK Rowling!!  
  
[A/N: The only reason this story is in parts is so it's sorta easier to read, I guess]  
  
*^^FOR THE ELVES!!^^* (Harry Potter flavour) … cos elves RULE!  
  
~ Part One ~  
  
A tall handsome elf named Legolas stood patiently under a tree, shading himself from the sun. Locks of long blonde hair stuck out from under his hood and hung over his deep green eyes.  
  
He turned and squinted beyond the tree, to a shimmering field of green grass where two figures were quickly approaching. He slung his bow behind his back so as not to look menacing when he approached.  
  
'Hail there!' called one of the figures, a lady with long brown hair that was spotted with beads. Her ears poked up very clearly through it and Legolas glanced at them.  
  
'You are an elf?' he questioned.  
  
The lady gave him a curious look. 'Half,' she said. The man beside her pushed back his hood and stared hard at Legolas. His own pointy elf ears protruded from specially made holes in his leather armour.  
  
'Was that an insult or a threat?' he spat.  
  
'Hush now, Casy,' said the lady elf in gentle rebuke. 'We have not yet cause to be suspicious.' She turned and smiled at Legolas. 'Your name, good elf … sir?'  
  
'Legolas.' he smiled and held out his delicate slim hand.  
  
'Jaheira, and well met to you,' replied the lady, shaking his hand. 'And this is Casy.'  
  
The tall man beside her drew himself up exaltedly and allowed the blade of his sword to glint in the sun. 'Yes, I'm Casy, and I'm a well-trained Swashbuckler so you'd better beware.' he said, with a devilish grin.  
  
'Good for you. I am an archer and I am not afraid to draw my bow.'  
  
'Boys, boys…' sighed Jaheira. She paused and squinted into the distance, and then froze. Two figures were approaching; one tall and bushy-haired, the other green and small. As they got closer it was apparent that that little creature had pointy ears like an elf, but he looked nothing like Casy and Legolas and Jaheira.  
  
'Greetings!' cried Legolas, striding forward and offering out his hand. The bushy brown-haired girl shook it, grinning and showing buck teeth.  
  
'Hi, I'm Hermione,' she said jovially. [A/N: I know, I know, Hermione's not an elf but I have to use her anyway] With her other hand she gestured at the creature beside her. 'And this here's Dobby.'  
  
'Greetings, sir. I is Dobby, a house-elf. And I has work at Hogwarts. Miss Hermione's school.' He, too, drew himself up (as much as any vertically challenged person could) and looked dignified.  
  
'Yes! Of course. I am Le—'  
  
'You – you have work?!' cried Casy, cutting rudely across Legolas' words. 'You are… how much are you paid?'  
  
'Er… Dobby is paid a Galleon a week, sir.'  
  
'A… *Galleon*!?'  
  
'Yes sir. Dobby thinks you would not understand because you are not in the wizarding world.'  
  
His eyes flashing wildly, Casy turned desperately to Hermione. 'Please, good lady, we're adventurers come side-tracked! The adventuring road is wearing on our gold! We need a job! Any job!'  
  
Jaheira pitched in, 'We can do anything you want! Anything! We can cook; toast, rabbits, trolls. Even marshmallows! Please, please help us!'  
  
Legolas' face lit up as though he had a sudden idea. 'You can assist our fellowship back in Middle Earth. Many fellows I know wouldn't mind roast marshmallows from your hand… although… they would indeed be able to pay you but I doubt that what we have back there would be of much use with you existing in another dimension.'  
  
Hermione paused and looked thoughtful. She turned to Dobby. 'S.P.E.W isn't running anymore, is it? It's a shame. Though I'm not sure that it would qualify to cover elves outside of the wizarding world.'  
  
'Outside of the wizarding world!!?!?!' Jaheira's eyes glittered dangerously. 'My buttocks!' And she mumbled nonsense and threw a bright gleaming ball at Hermione. All at once the girl began to blow bright blue. 'Aid spell,' muttered Jaheira. 'You're lucky I didn't curse you!'  
  
'All right.' squeaked Hermione in a tiny voice, looking very cowed. 'All right. I'll help you. You can come back to the kitchens and… and cook for us. Yes. Dobby. Come.'  
  
Dobby beamed at Casy and Jaheira. 'Dobby thinks it is a good job to have. Dobby cleans, cooks in the kitchen! Much fun!' He looked over at Legolas. 'But Dobby also be thinking, sir, that your friend is hot.' Legolas stared blankly at him, though without blushing. Most likely he was used to the admiration. 'Might we take him with us?'  
  
'Oh, yes.' said Jaheira absent-mindedly. She was quite busy ogling at Legolas' chest though he wasn't a woman and didn't have any breasts (which would have made her gay…). 'Come on. The task is at hand. Onwards to the Hogwarts kitchens!' 


	2. Part two

*^^FOR THE ELVES!!^^* (Harry Potter flavour)  
  
~Part Two~  
  
It was less than an hour later that Casy and Jaheira stood in the Hogwarts kitchens, decked out in their new Hogwarts Kitchen Elves uniforms. As Hermione had explained, they were a new fashion statement and not to be lightly ignored.  
  
Jaheira turned to Casy, holding out a plate of crackers. 'I feel like … a fool, Casy.' she said. 'The adventuring life was hard for me, for us, but I did not envisage settling down like this…' Just then Dobby waltzed by, carrying a large tray with saucers and teacups, and dumped them into the sink. There was a sound of breaking china. He came over to them.  
  
'Dobby has seen your Legolas friend, sir.' he said merrily. 'He would not come out of the changerooms because he was embarrassed in his uniform.'  
  
'He would look fine in anything…' mumbled Jaheira dreamily. 'He's HOT…'  
  
There was a loud whooping and cheering from the room behind and then the sound of a thousand feet pounding. Legolas shot into the kitchens at top speed, being pursued by dozens of female house-elves. He raced around the table once then jumped into the sink. The dozens of female house-elves all followed and in a thrice they were being flushed down the sink.  
  
Dumbledore in the meanwhile was enjoying nice cup of tea in his office when there came a loud pounding from the pipes that ran through the ceiling of his room. He lifted his glasses.  
  
'Dear me, is that the sewage going down hard again?'  
  
The pounding sounded, larger, and then a high-pitched girly scream and a chorus of voices answering it.  
  
'Goodness no! that must be some sort of stampede.'  
  
The door to his office flew open and a tiny house-elf stood in the doorway, panting. Behind him were two larger elves, he recognised as his latest employees.  
  
'Dumbledore, Professor, sir.' panted the little one. 'Dobby came to warn you, many people come down the sink pipe today, Dobby knows the pipe runs above your ceiling and Dobby is afraid that—'  
  
But it was a little too late to be afraid. The ceiling buckled as the stampede noises from above came louder, then it gave way and crashed open. A pile of house-elves fell into the room along with a shower of tap water. Legolas landed right on the top of the pile like a cherry on a cake, still looking his usual hot self though he was soaked through and covered in lipstick kiss marks.  
  
'Why, is that you Legolas?' cried Dumbledore. 'Whatever are you doing away from Middle Earth? That's not like you to be so negligent!'  
  
'No sir,' said the elf, standing up and trying to look as dignified as he could, with the dozens of female house-elves now clinging to his every limb. 'I would be on my way back now… just accompanying some friends of mine.' He gestured to Casy and Jaheira with his lipstick-smothered hand.  
  
'Yes, Legolas… Why, you!' said Dumbledore to the house-elves. They all fell off Legolas at once and looked at their feet in shame. 'I never had any in my employ so badly behaved towards visitors! Legolas, you've done your job here. It's time for you to return to your own World. Casy and Jaheira will be fine under my care, I assure you.'  
  
'Dumbledore, sir?'  
  
'Yes, Jaheira?'  
  
'If you'd like, I could… prepare a teleport field to send Legolas home.'  
  
Dumbledore began to shake his head, but when he looked at the lustful look on her face, he nodded silently. He felt a little jolt in his chest.  
  
As the blue shiny doorway conjured by Jaheira opened, leaving passage for Legolas, he turned and grinned enticingly at the company left behind. 'Fare thee well, all of you.' he said, hiding traces of a flirtish giggle. Then he stepped through the portal and vanished.  
  
There was a stunned silence for a moment. Then Dobby raised his eyes, brimming with tears, and said, 'But he was… hot!' And at once the dozens of female house-elves, Jaheira and Dobby burst into noisy wails. Even Dumbledore felt his eyes getting wet and when his desk began to sob, he fell on the floor and howled. 


End file.
